Jon Gosselin, parking his sorry rear end in the chair opposite America’s most genially oblivious TV interviewer, said on Larry King Live what lots of you have been saying for months: “It’s not healthy for my kids to be on the show… it’s detrimental to them.”

“I had an epiphany one day,” said Jon. “I made mistakes… I’m here to apologize to Kate.” But then — uh, oh — he also said, “I apologize to Hailey [Glassman]” — i.e., his girlfriend.

Jon is seeking to shut down production on the TLC series soon to be known as Kate Plus Eight, in a lawsuit announced earlier today. Tonight, Jon hauled in his lawyer, Mark Jay Heller, to assert to King that there’ll be a Dept. of Labor investigation about child labor law (“they never got a permit for the kids to act”), about breach of contract, and who knows what else — so much was spilled by both Jon and his lawyer, it was difficult to follow their arguments. “I don’t talk to Kate,” he said. But he also said he “texts her”; however, she doesn’t text back. “I want us to become friends,” he said of Kate.

“I have a sense of empowerment now,” said Jon. “I was an avoider.” This must be the psychobabble he learned racking up $22,000 in “counseling” he says he’s received.

Fun fact: Jon said he made a million dollars from the show in the past year — money paid to both him and Kate.

“We’re in the court of public opinion,” said Heller, referring to appearing on Larry King Live this night. Meanwhile, King was asking viewers to “clock onto the [CNN] website” and asked Jon to answer a “tweeter question” CNN had received. The court of public opinion is presided over by a rather out-of-it judge.

There were a couple of other inadvertently funny moments. “You’ve been through divorce, you know,” said Jon to the much-married King, hoping to curry sympathy, I suppose. And when Jon said, “Our life is our show and our show is our life… and it should stop,” King responded, “So we shouldn’t have known about you?”

“Probably,” said Jon.

A lawyer for Kate also appeared in one corner of the TV screen to rebut some of this stuff. And a statement by Kate was read, in which she said, “I’m saddened and confused… by Jon’s media statements.”

You and me both, sister.

What do you think?

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