Khloe Kardashian
Credit: Sara De Boer/Retna Ltd.

Wrap yourself tight in your Martha Stewart bedding

‘Cause this here’s a poem ’bout Kardashian’s wedding

The mention of that name fills me with such nameless dreading

But I’m adding to their press now: Call it aiding and abetting

The bride it was not Kim, for the uninitiated

But a sister named Khloe who keeps the paparazzi sated

They’ve both gotten so famous they’ve been downright Jon + Kate-d

To Brody and Bruce Jenner, these girls they are related

Another sister Kourtney walked the aisle with baby bump

Will that birth make live TV? I betcha E! would jump

The fact that I know all this crap sends my spirit to the dump

And now my skin is crawling just as if I had the mumps

The groom was a b-baller known as Odom, Lamar

I hope to the high heavens that they had an open bar

‘Cause a 30-day courtship well it’s slightly below par

But I’ve got to give ’em credit for redefining the word “star”

Okay my tone is snippy and some might say I disparage

But where’s the far-right uproar ’bout the sanctity of marriage?

This whole unseemly nuptial makes me want to wave a placard

But the vows are said, the rings are donned, it’s too late to turn backward

The bride wore Vera Wang, I’ll bet the dress had lots of glitter

And the cameras they were rolling to soak up the D-list litter

Well I’d better wrap things up now, before I get too bitter

You can get more wedding deets from Ryan Seacrest’s Twitter


(FYI: You can also follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak.)

Image Credit: Sara De Boer/Retna Ltd.