ABC will announce the identity of the next Bachelor on Oct. 13, and sources are telling People that it will “likely” be one of Bachelorette Jillian’s castoffs: Kiptyn, Reid, or Jake. This is a huge commitment. Not quite like a real marriage, but considering my DVR, Peter, is my life partner and he will be recording every episode of the next season of The Bachelor regardless, its effects are long-term. So, let’s talk seriously. First, make your pick in the poll below. Then, click through to read my analysis and selection. Finally, justify your choice in the comments section. Break!

Jake (pictured, right): Slezak would probably break every former Idol CD in his office if the trustworthy, tall but dull Texan gets the call. I wouldn’t do anything that drastic: I feel like Jake is actually a decent guy who’s looking for love, and that if we’d gotten to go to his hometown, we might have seen him let loose and show a real personality. Still, not my guy.

Kiptyn (left): He’s hot, articulate, likes to be shirtless, and has no problem making out in front of cameras. He’s who I think producers will select, but not the one I (nor Peter) wants to watch each week. I just envision producers loading the pool with even more bikini’d babes than usual, and the first-night fawning over him would be amped up to such a degree that I’d get a visit from the cops asking me to quiet down because I wouldn’t have had enough pillows to muffle my empathetic screams of mortification.

Reid (center): Here’s the thing: Every season we’re told how difficult it is to choose between the final 2. Every year, we see people falling in love way too quickly. I vote Reid as the next Bachelor. We’ve already established that he’s genuinely indecisive, which would be fun to watch, and I don’t think he’d judge women who are unable to pronounce their lust/love for him on the first solo date. He’d also be the first Bachelor I’d have felt like I could have actually met through friends — and liked. And that makes me curious about the women who’d sign up to meet him. Maybe a greater portion of them would be normal ladies who happen to find funny, neurotic East Coasters sexy. (What? It could happen!)

Photo credit: Kevin Foley/ABC

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