The bullseye: September 25, 2009

HITS
· Neil Patrick Harris at the Emmys: legend — and now for another musical number —ary!
· Great remixes of MJ songs on the new Michael Jackson: The Remix Suite
· The Good Wife Heather Locklear listens to us, returns to Melrose Place. Now that we’re drunk with power, Amy Ryan, it’s time for you to revisit The Office.
· Boris Yeltsin drunk. In his underwear. Looking for pizza. As detailed in the new biography of Bill Clinton.
· In a first, Precious — starring Mo’Nique and Mariah Carey (!) — wins audience awards at both Sundance and Toronto.

NEAR MISSES
· The lawn-mower accident on Mad Men: It’s like Dexter‘s writers dropped in for a week.
· Gabriel Byrne, love you, but button up your shirt and straighten your tie. You’re at the Emmys, not happy hour.
· Arrggh, matey: Johnny Depp no longer psyched for Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
· Is True Blood a sitcom? ”At Merlotte’s” on YouTube adds a laugh track to scenes and makes a pretty convincing case.
· Zooey Deschanel and Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard tie the knot: Hipsters finally have their own Brad and Angie.

MISSES
· Seriously, Jennifer Love Hewitt, are you that hard up for press?
· Leave it to Miley Cyrus to find the clothing equivalent of a mullet.
· Nick Lachey ”dream dinner date” up for auction on eBay. Unclear whose ”dream” this is fulfilling.
· Watching-other-people-dance fatigue
· Victoria Rowell’s Barack Obama dress: It’s not like you’re going to get to meet him just because you’re wearing that.
· Listening to Real Housewives‘ single ”Tardy for the Party” makes us tardy for sticking a fork in our eardrums to spare us from the pain.