Scott Brown's Hit List
1. Diddy — calling himself ”Chef Boyarediddy” — posts a picture of himself preparing eggs
Give him a break. This is how he’s dealing with being left off the Julie & Julia soundtrack.
2. Paula Abdul on leaving Idol: ”I stand on principle where many people stand on money”
”Unfortunately,” she went on, ”it’s a lot easier to stand on money. It’s flatter and, as you know, I’ve got equilibrium issues.”
3. John Mayer coughs up $25K after betting TMZ they couldn’t dig up his old mug shot
What’s wrong with John Mayer? That’s like betting the plumber he can’t find a wad of greasy hair.
4. Bad Boys 3 is apparently becoming a reality
With a cost-saving twist: The leads will now be played by controversial Transformers Skids and Mudflap.
5. Jon Gosselin puts kids on bus, fights with Kate, goes to Vegas bikini bash
Carly Simon needs to get on the stick and write a song about this.
6. Jon Voight on Obama’s health-care push: ”He’s trying everything, even the so-called God card”
I’m not familiar with this card, but then, I also don’t play as much Yu-Gi-Oh! as Jon Voight does.
7. Katy Perry on Simon Cowell: ”He’s a very truthful, honest a– hole”
How sweet. I see the stirrings of a Mary Matalin/James Carville-style romance.
8. Stallone to make yet another Rambo movie
But don’t you worry: The shirt’s never coming off again. It’s all tank tops from here on out.
9. MTV is planning a Teen Wolf TV series
If I want to watch hairy guys play basketball, I’ll watch ESPN Classic, thanks.
10. Jeremy Piven is cleared in sushi-related pullout from Broadway play
I like this precedent. Next time I can’t think of a joke, I’m just gonna pound some supermarket nigiri and call in sick.