By Annie Barrett
September 03, 2009 at 03:30 PM EDT

Dear Zachary Quinto: What the hell are you doing? We have an entire blog category dedicated to you, and the “crazy” part of the hybrid is supposed to skew towards “goofy” — remember when you loved getting sprayed with milk in a photoshoot, and when you walked your dog next to humans dressed as a butcher and a steak? Those were better times. For reference: This is an example of your good gunplay. The following is not! “For realsies.” (Language totally NSFW.)

Now go sit in the corner, look adorable, and idly suck on your favorite hoodie string until you realize what you’ve done, young man. I mean it!