Credit: RD/ Dziekan/ Retna

The making of Halloween II (in theaters Friday) was a bumpy ride, long before director Rob Zombie clashed with Dimension Films’ marketing department. On a tight schedule, “We had to do it all down and dirty and nasty, which does create a certain amount of energy,” he says. “Your brain always has to be engaged because nothing is ever gonna work out the way you planned it. We would show up every day and go, ‘What’s wrong today? Oh good, the scene that we were gonna film in the rain, the rain towers aren’t here.’ Or we’d be filming, and we’re like, ‘Why is it getting dark?’ and we’d notice that our lights were sinking down into the mud because it had been raining non-stop for 30 days in Georgia. It forces you to be creative.” You know what else has that effect on people? The EW Pop Culture Personality Test. Zombie submits to one below, AND, for extra credit, provides us with an exclusive clip from his next film, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, after the jump.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Name a song you wish you’d written.

ROB ZOMBIE: Like, the theme from Titanic would have been good. That was a big seller. Anything that was sung by Celine Dion at the height of her career, I wish I had written. I don’t actually know the titles of any of those songs, but I wish I’d written them.

The best concert you’ve ever seen?

I actually had that thought when I was at something: This is the best concert I’ve ever seen. It was recently, too. What the f— was it? [Thinks]

Neil Diamond at the Garden?

No… We saw him actually at the Staples Center. I almost got into a fight with the guy next to me. I’ve got to tell you, I’ve been to many concerts and the Neil Diamond crowd… You know what the Neil Diamond crowd is, they’re people that don’t drink except that one night a year. So you get this drunken lawyer next to you, and you go, I swear to god, I am gonna punch this guy in the face the next time he bumps into me. And if he spills that drink on Sheri [Zombie’s wife] it’s on. I was sittin’ there like, I’m gonna kill this f—in’ guy, and I’m at a Neil Diamond concert. Same thing at Fleetwood Mac. Go to Ozzfest, it’s like, these people drink for a living, they’re fine. You go to Neil Diamond, it’s like everyone’s a jackhole. But that doesn’t answer your question… I saw Buck Owens at the House of Blues a couple years before he died. I really thought that was the greatest concert I ever saw. It was giving me chills, every song he played, because I was a huge Buck Owens fan.

A chick flick you’ll admit to liking?

I don’t have a problem with that. I thought Love Actually was a great film. That’s one of those movies, if it’s on TV, I’ll watch it again. Is that a chick flick? Is About a Boy a chick flick? I think they both qualify.

The movie you have to watch every time you spot it on cable, besides Love Actually?

Probably Jaws and Young Frankenstein are the two that are like, “Well, I guess we’re gonna be late.” You have the DVDs, you just never put ’em in. I heard a great theory about that, why you’ll watch the movie when it’s on TV, but you won’t put in a DVD. Tim Burton once said he thought it was because you like the idea that other people are watching it at the same time as you; If you put in the DVD, obviously you’re the only person watching it. I thought that was kinda cool. I think that’s it.

When do you yell at the TV?

I do that a lot because my wife says, “Will you calm down? Really.” Something like the MTV Video Music Awards, the MTV Movie Awards, and American Idol will do that to me. I’ll start yelling, and my wife will go, “Just shut it off. Why do you watch the Grammys? It makes you so angry every year.” I go, “That’s why I watch it. Look at that: Stevie Wonder and the Jonas Brothers — what the f— is that all about?!” I don’t actually care, or I don’t really feel passionate about it, I just like to get all pissed off about it. “The only reason they’re up there is because he’s blind, and he can’t see they’re up there! If he could see what was happening right now, he’d be furious!”

Are there any shows we’d be surprised you watch?

I loved TV, and there’s nothing good anymore. I hate reality shows. I refuse to watch them. I’ll watch stuff on HBO. I’ll watch Entourage all the time, but sometimes that gets depressing because it’s too much like real life. I can’t wait for Curb Your Enthusiasm to come back. And I love The Office, and 30 Rock is great. But those are about the only things that I’ll really go out of my way to watch. And Real Time with Bill Maher. Okay, so there are, like, five things that I’ll watch. The rest of it can suck it.

What about True Blood?

Everyone keeps telling me, “Give it more of a chance! Give it more of a chance! You’ll love it!” I just don’t have the time to invest in any more HBO shows. I get bored with things fast. Like Lost, I was like This is great… I’m done. I watched, like, two episodes, and I’m like, They’re not gonna explain this s—? F— it. I need it wrapped up. That’s why I like sitcoms. Wrapped up by the end of the show.

What do you consider your geekiest possession?

I have a lot of weird crap. For some reason, I never threw anything away as a kid, and I was really meticulous about saving everything in perfect condition. So if I bought an album in 1972, it still has the shrink wrap on it and it’s still in mint condition. Even magazines. If a magazine came out in 1977 featuring Star Wars, I bought it and it looks like I bought it today. Any kind of Star Trek Mego action figures that are still in the garage somewhere — I don’t really want ’em, I just don’t know what to do with ’em.

We always ask people what piece of pop culture memorabilia from their childhood they wish they still had, but you’re saying you never lost anything?

No, I don’t lose anything. I will forget my jacket here, and somehow it will be in my hotel room when I get back. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry threw the $20 out the window, and it came back? That’s me. I always do that: “Damn it, I forgot my sunglasses on the plane again. Oh wait, no here they are.” I don’t lose anything…. Am I passing the test yet, or do I have a very bad personality?

You’re doing well.

[Points to tape recorder on table] You know this isn’t even turning. [EW looks at the machine in a panic] Ha. Ha. Just kidding. Does that get me points for being spontaneous? “Good with props.”

I haven’t had a tape recorder malfunction in my 12-year career, so I live in fear of it. Well played…

[Laughs] That’s my favorite phrase, “Well played… Touché.”

The person you’re most often mistaken for? If that, in fact, ever happens.

Not in a real sort of way. But every once in awhile some homeless guy will come up and be like, “You look like Jesus.” Or, I get Charles Manson. That’s more like a New York thing. Some guy will just yell out, “Yo, homeboy look like Charles Manson!” That’s about it. It’s either Charles Manson or Jesus.

You have a new album coming out in November and will be touring. How will your rider differ today from years ago?

Well, there’s been a thing with riders that bands don’t seem to understand that I understood from Day 1: The venue will charge you back for that stuff at an inflated price. So you can put all the wacky stuff you want on your rider, but you’re gonna pay for it anyway. So our rider is like water and a chair. We’re the funniest band, because ever since I saw Pumping Iron, it’s like stay hungry. Like, we go on tour with bands and they’re setting up curtains and pinball machines and massage tables, and they’re gettin’ all cushy back there. We literally sit there in the room [puts his elbows on his knees, stares straight ahead] with nothin’ — ready to play. But it keeps our edge. It’s like when Mike Tyson would walk to the ring with the dirty towel for his robe and you go, “F—, that guy’s scary.” That’s how we like to do things. It keeps us angry. The kids back there gettin’ massages, playing Pac-Man with your candles burning? Give me a break. We’re here to destroy you. We’re every other band’s worst nightmare.

BONUS QUESTION: Sell us on The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (available On Demand Sept. 7, in select theaters Sept. 12, and on DVD and Blu-ray Sept. 22).

It’s an adult animated movie, a superhero monster sex comedy. We got a bunch of top guys who worked on Shrek and all the Disney stuff, but animators are all a bunch of pervs anyway. They were so happy to draw perverted s—. Paul Giamatti voices the main villain, Dr. Satan, and he’s hilarious. It’s part musical, and the songs are the best part. It’s a work of pure genius, and you don’t get that that often anymore start to finish. There’s many showstopping numbers. There’s one scene where the character Suzi X [voiced by Sheri Moon Zombie] is being chased by Nazi bikers and Hard ‘N Phirm, who did the music for the movie, did it in the style of a Scooby-Doo sorta groovy ’60s song except all they do is narrate the action on-screen like two stupid guys watching the movie. It’s like an X-rated Scooby-Doo. All the perverted things kids think about watching Scooby-Doo now come true. There’s another good song at the end called “Lesbian Catfight.” Two female characters get into a fight, but then suddenly the movie goes into slo-mo as if it’s through the eyes of all the other characters in the movie who are watching them and gettin’ turned on. There’s a great lyric that they sing: “It’s alright to jerk off to cartoons/ The Japanese do it every day/ So rub one out for the USA.” It’s done in a country-western style. I wish I had written that… Celine Dion could’ve handled that one. It’s in her vocal range.

Watch the cleanest clip he could give us…

Photo Credit: RD/Dziekan/Retna

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