On last night’s season 2 premiere of The Rachel Zoe Project, it was a mad, catty dash to pull off head-to-toe styling for five A-list actresses for the 2009 Golden Globes. I could have lived without Taylor and Brad schlepping their desks to a more desired floor just to prove they’d not matured beyond the age of 7, not to mention the desperate-for-a-plot inanity of Rachel and Brad mercilessly ribbing Taylor for no longer being the best human clothes hanger in the studio (congrats, Jordan). But somehow, watching Debra Messing, Demi Moore, Eva Mendes, Anne Hathaway, and Cameron Diaz stomp around that red carpet, miraculously not nude, made the rest of the show worth it! (Rachel and Rodger’s blatant Bing commercial notwithstanding.)
The most surreal part of the hour somehow wasn’t the elaborately staged “day of the Globes hustle,” so obviously filmed well after the event itself (they should really emblazon “A Rachel Zoe Dramatization” on the screen when this occurs, perhaps in fancy script surrounded by buh-nanas), nor was it when Rachel described Diaz’s pink Chanel gown, which she had altered from Karl Lagerfeld’s original runway design (pictured), “that dress was like carrying it in my womb for nine months and birthing it out the Golden Globes.” Nope, the biggest WTF moment for me was realizing I’d sprouted two tiny tears witnessing Rachel and her merry band of supplicants watching footage of the red carpet. It was a life-changing revelation to see such colorful, bejeweled proof that extreme bitch-itude totally pays off. It’s a lesson reality TV teaches us every day, but sometimes we need genuine, after-midnight, mini bundt cake-accompanying tears to let it really sink in.
I’m gonna go tell Ausiello he looks fat today. Who else watched last night’s premiere, and how many times did you die/cry?