August 24, 2009 at 05:43 PM EDT

You guys, hurry up! Less than two hours remain for you to casually bid more than $4 million to purchase the crypt directly above Marilyn Monroe’s (and, even more creepily, next to Hugh Hefner’s), on eBay. See, the widow of a rich dead dude who’s been lying face-down (by personal request) over Marilyn for 23 years needed to pay off the $1.6 million mortgage on her Beverly Hills home. Filthy rich, anonymous eBay users to the rescue! The current bid (over $4.6 million) has been trickling up by increments of about $100 for a few days now. Refreshing the page is like watching reality TV, but with more suspense and hopefully less murder. How ’bout when bidder “n***9” dramatically upped the bid from $2.7 million to $4.5 million? Plot twist city! Okay. 1h 23m 14s until it’s time to turn the TV back on. Good luck, everyone.

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