By Simon Vozick-Levinson
Updated August 24, 2009 at 12:59 PM EDT

I put the word “sings” in quotes because, well, let’s be honest here: There was no singing of any kind going on during Heidi Montag’s performance of her song “Body Language” at the 2009 Miss Universe competition, as you can see in the clip below. What there was, was some moderately competent lip-syncing, some Britney-wannabe choreography, and…that’s about it. “Body Language” isn’t much of a tune, either — think Rockwell’s 1984 hit “Somebody’s Watching Me” with some robot cooing soulless come-ons instead of that killer Michael Jackson hook.

But, hey, Heidi Montag is totally a famous person, and famous people get to do stuff like launching a music career on national television despite possessing no discernible musical ability whatsoever. Oh well. I guess this performance wasn’t any more pointless or degrading to humanity than the Miss Universe competition itself.

Watch “Body Language” below, if you really want to, then speak up: Does this make you feel better or worse about Heidi Montag’s prospects in the music biz? Or am I being too harsh? Does anyone actually like this nonsense?

More from EW’s Music Mix: