By Simon Vozick-Levinson
Updated August 18, 2009 at 03:57 PM EDT
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R. Kelly has a new music video out, and you know what that means: Another super-catchy jam built around a ridiculous extended metaphor that somehow involves sex.

Actually, coming from the man who gave us such masterpieces as “Sex in the Kitchen,” “Sex Weed,” and “Sex Planet,” Kells’ new single — “Number One,” a duet with the lovely Keri Hilson — might qualify as subtle. “Having sex with you is like making hits,” he sings to Hilson, adding, “I’m in your mix like a No. 1 record.” Considering how much time R. Kelly probably spends each day thinking about either songwriting or lovemaking, I’m kind of surprised it’s taken him this long to arrive at a concept that unites his two favorite hobbies so neatly. And hey, at least he’s not comparing himself to a Jurassic “Sexasaurus” this time, right?

Watch the “Number One” video below, then let us know: What do you think? How does this measure up to R. Kelly’s most absurd tunes?

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