TV's funniest lines from August 1 to August 7, 2009

By EW Staff
Updated August 14, 2009 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Everyone in Britain thinks Victoria Beckham is a big deal, but in the U.S. no one cares. She’s like the soccer of people.” — Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately

”Have you seen what’s going on with these town halls? I don’t want to say they’re out of control, but they’re starting to show them on ESPN.” — Bill Maher on Real Time

”You know, my Joanie, Jewish girls are supposed to grow up and marry doctors, not support them.” — Kathy Griffin, to Joan Rivers, on The Comedy Central Roast of Joan Rivers

”Well, if anyone is qualified to pick someone to be famous for having no discernible talent other than being able to walk, it’s certainly the two of them.” — Joel McHale, on reports that Kim Kardashian and Lauren Conrad are guest judges on the upcoming season of America’s Next Top Model, on The Soup