'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' recap: Wig Tugs, T-Boz, and Tania
The name of last night’s episode was “Unbeweavable.” I figured this boded well for the hour. But the action was front-loaded, spring-boarding off of Kim storming out of the restaurant last week. Sheree wasn’t done with her yet and tore after her. NeNe wobbled after the both of them in her five-inch heels, squawking that this wasn’t how she wanted the intervention to go down. Outside, Sheree wrapped her hand around a fistful of Kim’s hair and gave a little yank. “I felt the need to tug on her wig,” she later explained, in an eerily calm voice. “I did not try to pull if off. I did not want to pull it off. I just wanted to shift it a little bit.” Sheree has officially gone to her bye bye place. I would have said this was all staged but Kim’s little wig did indeed sit a little askew, her bangs frazzled and hanging to the right. This was not a good look. Her line of wigs will go nowhere if they can’t sustain the occasional street fight.
The drama depressed Kim and made her cry. Her best friend from Alabama showed up and listened to Kim’s side of the story. Whoa, whoa, whoa: They said you called her husband broke down, or a brokeass. Something’s not adding up here. “That’s not your lingo,” the best friend said. “I’d say ‘broke as hell,'” said Kim. Her best friend did her one better. “You’d say broke as a motherf—-r. That’s exactlywhat you’d say.” Case closed! These two are idiots, and Sheree is a liar. NeNe and Kim met up later and pseudo made up. Theirs is a drinking partnership that can weather any storm. Except apparently the one in recent reports that have NeNe allegedly choking Kim and Kim releasing her 911 call to the press.
Dwight threw himself a birthday party. I like Dwight but a little bit of this birthday boy goes a long way. The theme was the circus, and he wanted drama-ur all night long. He wanted to see melons, he wanted major breastses action. He wanted to grope Kandi’s breastses. Something tells me our latest Housewife is too reasonable a woman for this show. When she announced that she’d like a glass of water, Sheree looked at her as if the woman had just admitted to her that she had a crush on Dwight and this was the night she was going to make her move.
Kandi went to lunch and we were all treated to a special guest appearance of T-Boz (!). The woman looked great, seemed a little on the chilly side. She had definite opinions about Kandi’s fiancé. Her rule was you just don’t go with a man who brings more than one baby mama to the table. “I can’t deal with too many heifers,” she told Kandi, who admitted that AJ came to the relationship with four women. T-Boz widened her eyes a little. “So Papa’s a rolling stone,” she decided. Bring T-Boz back next week, too!
Sheree’s independence party became more of a book club-type gathering. NeNe and Kim showed up, bearing sage for her new digs. The women asked Sheree what kind of man she wished would walk into her life next. “Successful, compassionate, loving,” droned Sheree. “Needs a nice car!” translated NeNe. Then Sheree’s friend Tania walked over. Finally, we have a proper villain on this show! Oh for the love of…this woman is wicked. First, Lisa marveled over her size 0 figure. Tania called NeNe fat. Tania purred again, marveling at how she was 37 and didn’t look it. Then Lisa complimented the woman’s short hair. And that bitch grabbed hold of Lisa’s hair (which is beautiful by the way) and told her she needed to do something about this situation. Who is this woman? She’s like a character out of an E. Lynn Harris novel. (If I keep bringing up Harris it’s because I’m still mourning. That man knew how to write a proper underminer.)
Oh no, more clothing lines. And this time it’s casual wear. Lisa and Ed want to develop a line of affordable jumpsuits for demure women.
What did you think, PopWatchers? Is Tania the worst woman ever? Is this season boring or giving you the trashy fix you need to get through August? Does the world need more clothing lines?