By Aly Semigran
Updated August 11, 2009 at 09:53 PM EDT

It was only a matter of time, really, before Robert Pattinson’s Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart’s Bella Swan would be getting a makeover courtesy of Mattel. Yes, Twilight Barbies will hit shelves in early November (just in time to taunt the other kids in line for New Moon) at $25 a pop. Holiday wish-list recipients and toy store employees, consider this your fair warning. Not being a Twihard myself (I wasn’t a stickler for how much was left out of the book for the movie, nor I am deeply enveloped in casting shakeups), I was still slightly perplexed upon first look at the Edward and Bella dolls. While the makers at least had the good sense to make the Edward doll pale, with a strong jawline, and sporting a Ryan Cabrera ‘do, there are no words for poor Bella. Maybe it’s the fact the Bella Barbie is smiling (the Kristen Stewart comparisons start and end right there) but mostly it’s because if you lost the blue jacket, she becomes interchangeable with every other Barbie. And what about accessories? A dented orange truck? An apple? Will Special Edition Edward sparkle in the sun? And where’s Jacob? (Though I’m fairly certain he’d have to be a Transformer, anyway.)

Not to be outdone, Hallmark is introducing a line of Twilight greeting cards (and e-cards) for birthdays, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day. My personal favorite is one aimed at fans torn between Team Edward and Team Jacob, with both Pattinson and Taylor Lautner on the front of the card with the question, “What’s not to love?” I can’t imagine these being used anywhere except a 4th grade-classroom, because call me crazy, but I don’t many guys will be asking their girlfriends which fictionional dreamboat they desire the most. What do you think of all this new Twilight merchandise, PopWatchers? Are you as equally baffled as me by the Bella dolls? Or are you too busy deciding whether you want an Edward or Jacob greeting card?