'American Idol': For the love of Geri Halliwell, please don't add a fourth judge!
Yesterday’s news that American Idol has enlisted pop star Katy Perry and “singer” Victoria Beckham as guest judges during the show’s soon-to-be-filmed audition rounds — and that Fox execs are likely to find a permanent replacement for Paula Abdul by the time the live performance shows begin next year — was akin to getting stripped of your consolation box of Rice-a-Roni after suffering a crushing loss on The Price Is Right.
I mean, seriously, while part of me was bummed that Idol decided to keep Kara DioGuardi and Randy Jackson at the expense of Paula, at least I was taking solace in the belief that the show was going to return to its original three-judge formation. But if Fox and 19 are actually committed to filling that fourth chair in season 9, then it’s clear they’re becoming increasingly out of touch with why people tune in to Idol: Do any of you sacrifice every Tuesday and Wednesday night from January to May to listen to banal chatter from a quartet of windbags? I want to hear live singing from potential superstars like Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, and Allison Iraheta, and when it comes to critiques, it’s really all about Simon, who got cut off almost as often in season 8 as Randy said “for me for you.”
Sure, it’d be great if Idol actually brought in a panelist who could match (or even outshine) Simon in terms of toughness and wit, but the cating of Posh Spice does not give me hope. I could discuss the merits (or lack thereof) of her vocals, but instead I’ll just embed her video for “This Groove” at the end of this post, and let you decide who comes out the winner in the arm-wrestling match between her wafer-thin voice and almighty Auto-Tune. In the interim, I present another Idol protest anthem, set to the tune of Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall,” and follow it with a couple of all-important PopWatch polls (one of which pits Cyndi Lauper, winner of our last “who should be the new judge?” poll, against a new slew of candidates):
We don’t need no fourth Idol judge
We tune in to hear kids sing
Set the stopwatch, cut the Dawg off
Kara don’t say ‘Here’s the thing’
Hey! Kara! Don’t say ‘Here’s the thing’
All in all let’s keep the judges’ panel concise
All in all there’s just no need to hear from Posh Spice
(For all my Idol updates, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!)