You knew this was coming, right? Eminem has never been good at letting grudges go. So what did you think he’d do after hearing Mariah Carey’s “Obsessed,” itself a rumored response to his own “Bagpipes from Baghdad,” which dredged up the very stale controversy regarding their long-past relationship (or lack thereof)? Of course Em has struck back the only way he knows how: by spraying some foul, juvenile lyrics in Mariah’s direction via an unofficial diss track called “The Warning.”

“I’m ‘Obsessed’ now?/Oh, gee, that’s supposed to be me/In the video, with the goatee?” That’s one of the only printable portions of Em’s angry lyrics. Then he goes all “b—-, shut the f— up!” and starts talking in graphic detail about his own sexual mishaps, as well as making some vague blackmail attempts: “It’s a warning shot/Before I blow up your whole spot/Call my bluff and I’ll release every f—ing thing I’ve got/Including the voicemails right before you flipped your top.” Yeah, I’m assuming those are the same alleged voicemails he was talking such a big game about in 2003. Also, in addition to an assortment of not-nice slurs, Em refers to Mariah as “Mary Poppins” at one point, for some reason?

Pardon me for a moment while I yawn at all this. There is exactly one clever line in “The Warning,” and it’s aimed at Carey’s husband Nick Cannon: “You’re gonna ruin my career, you better get one.” (I love a good Nick Cannon joke.) Everything else is just so predictable coming from Em at this point. I really, truly couldn’t care less whether or not he and Carey slept together seven years ago. Didn’t care at the time, don’t care now. And sure, she bears some responsibility for keeping this dumb story going by blatantly taunting Em with her costume in the “Obsessed” video — but that doesn’t make Em’s retaliation any less lame.

Watch “The Warning” after the jump if you must (way NSFW, obviously). Then let us know in the comments: Do you care about this war of words anymore? Are you rooting for either side, or (like me) just hoping this whole thing dies down already?

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