The 10 hottest topics for the week of July 24, 2009

By Scott Brown
Updated July 17, 2009 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. Anne Hathaway delivers pizzas to people waiting in line for Twelfth Night tix
”If pizza be the food of love, chow down!” Hathaway exclaimed, causing Shakespeare to leap from his grave and beat her with a bread stick.

2. Jon Gosselin may launch a kids’ clothing line
Brilliant synergy. First he launches a line of kids, then he launches a line of clothes.

3. Lauren Conrad’s novel — about a young woman who gets discovered for her own reality show — is a New York Times best-seller
As the saying goes: If you don’t want Heidi Pratt to know what you’re saying about her, put it in a book.

4. MTV reportedly developing a Hung-like show set in high school
Hold your horses, MTV! Who said you could option my adolescence?

5. South Park parody of Putin is censored in Russia
”I prefer Family Guy,” Putin said. ”I enjoy the many pop culture references.”

6. Emma Watson on London wardrobe malfunction: ”I’m still learning!” and ”At least I’m wearing underwear”
Uh, ”learning” to wear underwear, Em? I mastered that my second year at Hogwarts, right after Potions.

7. Jim Carrey will soon be a grandfather
This depresses me more than The Majestic, and that’s saying something.

8. True Blood crew saves a baby bat that fell on the set during filming
It’s a case of art imitating life. Or art saving life. Or just an annoying interruption between vampire sex scenes.

9. Shanna Moakler on Sarah Palin resigning her post as Alaska’s governor: ”I think she can make a lot more money if she resigns. She has a lot more to offer us than her current position”
Finally, some clear-eyed punditry on this subject.

10. Richard Hatch is invited to Survivor reunion — but is still serving home confinement for tax evasion And thus, the stage is set for Survivor: Richard Hatch’s House.