By David Yi
Updated July 09, 2009 at 12:00 PM EDT

Months before June’s commencement address, when it was announced that James Franco would be UCLA’s commencement speaker, the entire campus full of Bruins roared, demanding to replace the bleezy smoking dude with someone who was “as esteemed as a commencement speaker of UCLA’s caliber should be.” Naturally, they chose that one curly haired guitarist from Linkin Park to replace him. Franco rebutted, stating that he was too busy with preproduction on a movie to speak anyway. Sure.

Finally, in the NSFW video below, we discover the true reason why Franco didn’t speak — UCLA is a school full of pretentious prudes his offer was rescinded. Take a peek below and find out the truth for yourself, and how college like, really does take “minds into space like a rocket!”James Franco’s Rejected UCLA Commencement Speech from James Franco