By Ken Tucker
July 08, 2009 at 04:52 PM EDT

Well, I guess it was only fitting that a cable channel with a goofy new re-branding should premiere a goofy new series: Syfy’s Warehouse 13 is not, I think it’s safe to say, the series that is going to replace Battlestar Galactica in the hearts and minds of us old Sci Fi network fans.

Did you watch this thing? Some unholy cross between The X-Files, Bones, and Raiders of the Lost Ark, Warehouse 13 gave us a couple of supposedly-mismatched, but we knew made-for-each-other, federal agents (Eddie McClintock and Joanne Kelly, looking at each other as if to say, “How many episodes of this did you sign up for?”). These two were teamed up with the caretaker of a storehouse of supernatural objects, played by the usually-fine actor Saul Rubinek.

There’s a lot of talent here, both on and behind the camera. CCH Pounder, so great in The Shield, is an officious officer of some sort; she huffs and puffs without much effect. And the series was co-created by writer Jane Espenson, who’s done such terrific work on BSG and Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Warehouse 13 lacks both chemistry between its stars and a clearly-defined “hook” beyond its vast acres of secret, fantasical items.

I suppose Syfy is hoping Warehouse will tap into the soft-sci-fi audience that enjoys Eureka — which returns July 10 with new episodes — but so far, Warehouse doesn’t possess anything like Eureka‘s often-witty whimsy.

Am I wrong?