After learning at the end of this past week’s episode of Burn Notice that the next installment of the hit(-in-the-face) USA drama won’t air until July 9, I sighed sadly into my empty yogurt cup. How would I get through two weeks without a serving of Miami mayhem? Then I realized: Oh, right, I’m just going to keep re-reading this previously unpublished anecdote that the affable Jeffrey Donovan — a.k.a. wiseass-badass blacklisted spy Michael Westen — spilled during our interview for EW’s Must List issue. Donovan is a black belt in karate who also has studied aikido and Brazilian jujitsu. “If someone grabbed me, I’d probably be able to choke them out in about eight seconds,” he noted.
Turns out, dude can back that fact up. Three years ago he was at a bar with his agent and found himself in a precarious situation while conversing with a female patron. We’ll let him take it from here: “I’m very shy in real life; I can’t really hit on girls. She was getting that, so she was being a little too flirtatious with me. And this guy walks over and he goes, ‘That’s my sister!’ and got very angry at me. I said, ‘I’m not doing anything,’ and then he made a move like he was going to hit me and I just — it’s a typical kind of defense, you just grab their larynx and squeeze, and it cuts off all air and they drop to their knees. It didn’t hurt him, it just cut his air off and was a big surprise, and then I walked away. The guy was drunk and he came over and apologized.”
Okay, then, it’s settled. If my sister ever hits on Donovan in front of me, I’m looking running the other way. I have a hands-off policy when it comes to my larynx. And this story does make me wonder: Might JD even be able to hang with… Chuck Norris? (I know, it’s almost like someone cut off the air to my brain.) In any case, given that the raw power of the Texas Ranger spawned those clever Chuck Norris Facts (sample: There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live), perhaps we could start something similar to build up Donovan. All right, PopWatchers, I gave you a true story about Jeffrey Donovan — now who’s got a Jeffrey Donovan “fact” to share? The more creative, the better.
While you’re brainstorming, enjoy Donovan’s Must List video.