Last night on the Late Show, Johnny Depp and David Letterman played a little game of cat-and-mouse: Depp isn’t the gabbiest guy, but Dave respects him and likes his new movie Public Enemies. So Dave let the star get away with brief answers and the claim that he never sees his own movies. (“Once I’ve done my job on the film, it’s really none of my business,” he said.)

Still, Depp was pretty entertaining in unlikely areas. Such as his friendship with Elizabeth Taylor. Whom he called “a liver-and-onions broad.” Never heard that phrase before, have you? But we know what he means: earthy, unpretentious. In a double-header of summer-movie stars, Letterman also ushered in Megan Fox:

Saying she’s only had “three crushes in my life: Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, and you” set Dave up for a perfect response: “What do the other two do?” I wonder if she’ll use the same line if she Transformer-promotes on The Daily Show and The Tonight Show…