By Annie Barrett
Updated June 25, 2009 at 07:26 PM EDT

I’m not too interested in animals, but I am interested in attractive men who look super cozy in a simple heather grey tee while handling animals on TV. On last night’s Tonight Show, Brandon McMillan, host of Animal Planet’s Night, guided Conan O’Brien through the not-touching of a series of creatures until Conan finally found one who truly loved him. More specifically, it was a python and it truly loved massaging his crotch. Part 1 of McMillian’s interview is below; Part 2 (during which Conan and Brandon perform the Flexed Arm Hang on an elephant’s tusks) is available here.

It’s oddly comforting to see that the design on the bottom of a bear’s paw really occurs in nature and not just on adorable teddy bears.