Oh, Gwyneth, you coy little minx, how we do adore your superstar shenanigans! When la Paltrow is not busy buttering her Crisco-legs for Conan or being insulted by Anthony Bourdain, she is conjuring delightful nicknames for her rich and famous friends over on her GOOP “lifestyle” blog.

Case in point: This week’s post about cookies (Gwynnie hearts carbs! Swear!), which includes a recipe for Katie Lee Joel‘s Dark Chocolate Chunk and Dried Cherry Cookies:
“The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. I adore the contrast of the dark chocolate and the cherries – heaven.”

Billy Joel = William. No joke. I myself have never in my life heard anyone refer to the Piano Man by that name. Then again, I am not an Uptown Girl. Maybe I should ask William Idol? I think he sang at their White Wedding.

Anyway, it’s so nice they’re all friends. Perhaps her husband, Coldplay frontman Christopher Martin, is off jamming on the Chuck Berry classic “Jonathan Be Good” with the Davidoff Matthews Band? Delightful!

Dear readers, if Gwynnie was your biff, what would she call you? Do tell.