By Ken Tucker
June 09, 2009 at 06:42 AM EDT

I will spare you the details of the inevitable return of Heidi and Spencer to the damp bosom of I’m a Celebrity on Monday night. I’m not going to quote any of their mindlessly incessant invocations of God and Jesus lest a Higher Being smite me down for repeating their fervent blather. 

But there was a moment of interest for anyone still following the travails of disgraced governor Rod Blagojevich, who was denied his moist spot on the I’m a Celebrity log in favor of his wife, Patti. 

Until now, Patti has been pretty tight-lipped — keeps her head down, does her chores. But this night she finally did what she undoubtedly hoped to do all along: Sob in front of a network audience about, as she put it, “the nightmare I’ve been living through the past six months.” 

“We’re just trying to keep our house,” said Patti, wiping away tears. “I’m driving around in a 21 year-old car.”

Aw, boo-hoo, Patti. Tell it to folks who’ve lost their jobs and don’t get to go on TV reality-game shows.

Then again, she did have to listen to Heidi sing an a capella version of some godawful “original” song. “You’re twisted/As a liar you’re gifted,” Heidi yowled. Then she explained, “That’s my, like, rock song.” Eeek.

Maybe the court deciding Rod Blagojevich’s fate should just lock him in a room with an endlessly-repeated Heidi song for a month…