By Jeff Labrecque
Updated June 03, 2009 at 04:57 PM EDT

Paris Hilton is pretty much critic-proof at this point, but it can at least be stated that last night’s My New BFF premiere was as gruesome as you thought — hoped? — it would be. Fourteen shameless contestants, all caricatures of extras from the 1995 movie Clueless, are desperately vying to become Hilton’s newest accessory. Hilton is accompanied by her own Salacious Crumb — last season’s Onch — and challenges her fawning court with competitive strip-offs. Every girl’s father died a little bit inside when brassy Tiniecia told the camera, “What girl doesn’t fantasize about working a pole one day in life?” Paris Hilton’s My New BFFMTV Shows

Did you manage to endure the whole episode? Were you hoping, like I was, that the hungry tiger they had to pet would turn on the entire cast?