The weirdest aspect of I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! is that the worst thing about the show isn’t the celebrities, it’s everything surrounding them: the hosts, the competitions, the lack of imagination. The celebs, they’ve got imagination to burn. Spencer Pratt was his usual repulsive self, but it was pretty clever of him to call NBC entertainment president Ben Silverman to complain about the living conditions he was enduring in Costa Rica. Sanjaya is so imaginative, he was content to stare at a fire and marvel at “the whole concept of how it works.” Stephen Baldwin had the verbal dexterity to refer to a bit of tripe he ate as emitting “a little fart of disgustingness.” And Heidi Montag — ‘scuse me, Mrs. Heidi Pratt, as she prefers to be known now — had the imagination to apologize for her husband’s egomaniacal, pathetically lame reality-show ranting by saying, “My husband is a very new Christian,” and therefore deserves to be forgiven.
Best of all, Janice Dickinson told Patti Blagojevich, “You need to set the record straight” about what a good guy her disgraced-governor-husband Rod is, and Spencer avowed that he would have voted for Blago for President.
If the rest of the show was as nuttily deluded as all of the above, it’d be worth watching Monday through Thursday… almost. But the dreadful co-hosts, Damien Fahey and Myleene Klass, repeated much of what the celebrities had already said and then told us what to think about them. And the reward competitions — eating disgusting things; having bugs crawl over the contestants — were the stuff of 1,000 old reality shows.
I’ll stick around a few days more to see Heidi and Spencer traduce Christianity simply by offering prayers from their mealy mouths and maybe get a peek at that bullet-ant bite Stephen Baldwin suffered (did I hear that right? a bullet-ant? where are the shotgun-tarantulas?). But I have a feeling my curiosity about these celebs is doing to be used up as quickly as Heidi’s hair “product.”
How about you? Did you watch? Would you watch again?