By Leah Greenblatt
May 28, 2009 at 12:00 PM EDT

Mikey Way announced last night via Twitter that his brother, My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way, is now the proud father of a baby boy girl named Bandit Lee. Welcome, tiniest member of The Black Parade! Your itty-bitty majorette jacket is in the mail.

But it also leads me to wonder — unless the supermarket tabloids are somehow banned by President Schwarzenegger in the year 2022 (thanks, in part, to a bill pushed through by Senators Affleck and Clooney), and gossip blogs get swallowed by some sort of karmic smoke monster, we’ll pretty much be hearing about these kids ad nauseam for the next few decades, yes?

So who do you think will grow up to fascinate us most? Will it be little Kingston and Zuma, scions of the elaborately coiffed Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale dynasty? Young Bronx Mowgli (Pete Wentz/Ashlee Simpson)? Seven Sirius (Andre 3000/Erykah Badu; she also has daughters Puma Sabti and Mars Merkaba)? Bluebell Madonna (Ginger Spice)?

Perhaps Lourdes Ciccone Leon will find peace in the Madge-less confines of a Franciscan nunnery, while Sean Preston and Jayden James Spears Federline reject all things Cheeto for life on an organic sprout farm.

But let’s ask Duncan Jones, shall we? Oh, you don’t know him? He was born Zowie Bowie, son of David, perhaps one of rock’s greatest living chameleons. At 18, he decided to undergo a transformation of his own, and has since lived a relatively normal, can’t-find-him-in-the-phonebook life. And you know what? He looks pretty happy.

Tell me, readers, where you see this generation of rock babies — carrying on their parents’ legacy, or finding the ultimate rebellion in corporate accounting firms and Amish dairy collectives across the land?

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Courtney Love might have a teensy credit-card problem
Rihanna returns in new Kanye video