By Leah Greenblatt
Updated May 06, 2009 at 12:00 PM EDT

Nicole Kidman’s back, and she’s working with the A-list! Producer Ridley Scott (Bladerunner, Gladiator, American Gangster), director Shekhar Kapur (Elizabeth, The Four Feathers), Slumdog Millionaire moppet Rubina Ali … and a carbonated, fruity-flavored beverage. See below:

Not that we categorically object to celebrity pitchpersons, by any means. Who are we to begrudge said A-list their opportunity to hawk coffee in a can or soothing, Zen-like skin cremes to foreign markets? If your hair was as pretty and shiny as Jennifer Aniston’s, maybe you could sell Heineken back to the continent that makes it, too.

However — at what point did Kidman’s work as a glamorous, high-end Ron Popeil begin to outshine her once-illustrious acting career? (She reportedly earned $12 million for that Baz Luhrman-helmed Chanel ad a few years back). And when, for the love of melty, flesh-colored crayon wax, did her complete transformation from the lovely, freckly, facially-mobile redhead seen below in the 1989 thriller Dead Calm become complete?