By Jason Averett
Updated April 17, 2009 at 09:04 PM EDT

Attention, Idol fans: Idolatry is pleased to announce that Simon Cowell is officially under our control. Not only did the Brit with a chip sign up for Team Allison, he also interrupted the results show to undo Randy Jackson’s pitiful “critique” and salute Kris Allen’s standout performance of one of the best songs ever written. We take it all back, Simon. For us for you, you worked it out–keep on keeping it real, Dawg. Kris deserves a few more props, though, and he gets them courtesy of Michael Slezak and Missy Schwartz in the video below. Press play and you’ll also find alternative career advice for Lil and a discussion of the “historic” save. Did Matt really deserve it? Will someone better get sent packing on Disco Week? If Allison’s one of them, will I finally break the Internet? Speaking of our amazing Wonder Girl, she and Adam only make cameos in the below episode. But fear not: Our eventual top two get more screen time in the next installment, posting Monday (I promise this time, y’all!). So check it out, let us know what you thought about Kris and Lil this week, and share any trepidation you have about the dreaded disco. Oh, and for the love of humanity, save the rocker.