By Michael Slezak
Updated April 01, 2009 at 06:00 AM EDT

Oh, mama! Break out the Pepto, or the vino, or whatever kind of medicine you need to remedy what your mind, your stomach, and your ears are going through. Because tonight’s “Top Downloads” edition of American Idol — apparently ghost mentored by Ashlee Simpson — was a hot honeyed wreck. [SPOILERS ahead, west-coast friends, so stop here if you don’t want to know what your Idols are singing.] Lil got buried under 1,000 pounds of Celine Dion. Matt got slayed by The Fray. Anoop got “Caught Up” in something really embarrassing. Scott was…well, Scott. Danny brought pitchy back. And the judges stuck to their predetermined story arcs — all evidence to the contrary be damned!

Oh, and worst of all, Megan redefined chutzpah by choosing to perform a Bob Marley tune. No, you did not misread that. Megan Joy Corkrey covered Bob Marley. And with that, I leave the discussion up to you, fellow Idoloonies, because not only do I have to rush off and write my full TV Watch recap (it’ll post in the early a.m.), but I’ve also got to put together an obituary for reggae music. It died on the Idol stage tonight, and unlike the woman who perpetrated the crime, the scene was not pretty. (Side note…don’t make me beg you again: Go play’s Idol Prediction Challenge!)