By Rob Brunner
Updated March 31, 2009 at 12:00 PM EDT
Credit: Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images
  • Music

Following the surprise news that longtime drummer Jimmy Chamberlin was leaving the “band,” Billy Corgan yesterday announced he’ll be auditioning new drummers starting April 10. Good luck with that. But in order to save him a lot of time and effort, may we humbly suggest a few other options?

Former Modest Mouse drummer Benjamin Weikel
Quirky, musical drummer who’d bring something totally different to the band.

Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy
Admit it: the Pumpkins have always been pretty proggy. Maybe it’s time Billy gave in to those impulses and joined forces with this neo-prog thumper.

Secret Machines’ Josh Garza
Sounds like John Bonham.

Silversun Pickups’ Christopher Guanlao
It worked for Journey and Judas Priest. Why not hire the drummer from this Pumpkins tribute act? (Okay, technically they write their own songs. But still.)

Ruins’ Yoshida Tatsuya
This Japanese avant-drumming monster would certainly shake up Corgan’s sound. Added bonus: may not speak English, boding well for intra-band relations.

SNL‘s Fred Armisen
Former drummer for heavy Chicago band Trenchmouth. Might be able to work connections to score a plum Saturday-night TV booking. Would also bring some much-needed laughs to the proceedings.

A drum machine
Steady time keeper. Easy to get along with. Doesn’t take up much room on the bus. Won’t blab to the media.

But those are just our picks. Who would you like to see as the next Pumpkins drummer? Weigh in below.

addCredit(“Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images”)

Smashing Pumpkins

  • Music