By Annie Barrett
Updated March 27, 2009 at 05:00 PM EDT

When we heard last month that Padma Lakshmi would be hawking the Hardee’s Bacon Western Thickburger, we had no idea the actual commercial would be so porny! Press play below to let the author/culinary expert demonstrate some of the most important steps of eating an enormous burger: hiking up one’s skirt (while seated) to better “assume the stance,” and licking stray dollops of goopy western sauce from one’s freshly waxed ankle. I knew I was doing it wrong!

Best moment for me is when this visual accompanies the line, “It reminds me of being in high school.” She must be referring to her favorite elective, Intro to Feminism: You’re More Than Just a Piece of Meat. Road trip to Hardee’s, anyone?