By Adam Markovitz
Updated December 20, 2019 at 04:27 AM EST

Well, so much for that.

About six months ago, I got a little too excited over a trailer for Labor Pains, a comedy starring Lindsay Lohan as a woman who fakes a pregnancy to keep her job. I thought it might be a comeback of sorts, or at least a sign that Lohan was ready to go back to making movies that don’t involve a stripper pole or a fattened-up Jordan Catalano.

But in the wake of the Hello Kitty fever dream that I shall henceforth refer to as The Fornarina Affair, it’s been revelaed that Labor Pains is headed straight to cable on ABC Family. I’m pretty sure there’s no cause-and-effect between the two incidents, but put together, they make a strong case for the end of Lohan’s career as a movie actress. Next stop, Dancing With the Stars?

Ok, this is all too much for me. I’m going to have a good cry watching Mean Girls clips on YouTube with the volume turned down (so I can listen to “The Way We Were” on a loop), thinking about what could have been. But let me know, PopWatchers: Is this truly the end of Lindsay as we knew her? Or could her career still bounce back?

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