By Michael Ausiello
Updated March 25, 2009 at 04:57 AM EDT

Strap on your blinders, kids! It’s that time again! This week’s head-scratcher is a weighty matter but hardly in an “OMG-those-90210-girls-are-skinny!” way. Rather, it concerns a drama series lead whose growing, um, profile is becoming increasingly difficult for the network to overlook.

Already, the star wears a girdle to conceal his expansive — and expanding — waistline. But apparently, it’s not doing the trick. So the suits at the network are planning to ask the show’s producers to join them in staging, for lack of a better word, an intervention. (“From now on, you’ll need a secret password to get into Craft Services!”)

So, who’s the Mr. Big who must always be shot in wide angle? Guesses below, but be nice. Too many correct answers might set off our mystery man on another binge.