'Northern Lights': Snap Judgment
Of all the super cheesy quotes overheard on last night’s Lifetime premiere of Northern Lights, I’m pretty sure this one — from Leanne Rimes’ Meg — sums up the movie perfectly: “Now that we’ve run out of things to say, do you want to have sex? You know, hot, wet, forget-all-of our-problems sex. It’s basic, it’s primal, and it’s low in fat.” And…scene.
I mean, it’s that kind of dialogue that makes you wonder if you should believe all the crazy
publicity stunts rumors swirling around the Internet this past week about Rimes’ supposed on-set affair with her co-star Eddie Cibrian (both of whom are married). Full disclosure: I’ve never read a Nora Roberts novel before, so my jaw dropped a few times at all the innuendo combined with an I-could-have-solved-that-in-my-sleep murder mystery. Still there was chemistry present in the two-hour movie — even if it was mostly between Cibrian and Meg’s dog.
The tale, which follows Meg, who’s a pilot because her dad alwaystaught her to “look at the sky and see all the possibilities,” and Nate(Cibrian), a cop because he “likes rules,” begins with the viciouskilling of Meg’s father with an ice pick. This death could have seemedtragic if it weren’t for the hilariously Photoshopped snapshots ofdaddy — always posed in front of various fake mountain settings –that Meg often gazed upon. And in the midst all that drama (so like, inthe span of maybe 10 minutes), complicated Nate and feisty Meg findtime to fall in love. (Hey, with lines like, “Don’t mock my booty call”– said in reference to snow boots — who wouldn’t succumb to thepassion and romance of it all?)
Absurdities aside, now that I’ve seen the Northern Lights, Ithink I’m going to have to set my DVR to record the next three NoraRoberts flicks debuting over the next three Saturdays on Lifetime,starting with next week’s Midnight Bayoustarring Jerry O’Connell. What about you, Pop Watchers? Who else is nowhooked on these made-for-TV movies? Also, what did you think of Rimesand Cibrian’s performances? Finally, how many of you out there arewiling to admit that the only reason you watched was because you’dheard the rumors about the stars? Confess your sins below!