March 20, 2009 at 04:00 AM EDT

Scott Brown’s hit list

1. Gwyneth Paltrow suggests budding rapper Joaquin Phoenix ”go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity” Aw, snap! It’s Phoenix’s first rap war: the Joaq vs. Li’l Gwynnie!

2. Brad Pitt takes kids to a Mars-themed restaurant in New York City Explained Pitt: ”They were homesick for L.A.”

3. A MacGyver movie is in the works At this point, to be honest, I think I might be more excited about a MacGruber movie.

4. Gossip Girl‘s Ed Westwick caught on camera picking nose This means it’s cool now, right? God, I hope so.

5. Action star Chow Yun-fat to play Confucius He embodies the Confucian proverb: ”A journey of a thousand miles begins with a flying jump kick to the head.”

6. West Virginia legislator proposes a ban on Barbie dolls Who wants to live in a state where one can decapitate a mountaintop, but not a Barbie doll?

7. Mel Gibson photographed embracing bikini-clad mystery woman in Costa Rica Now, now. He’s an actor. He was probably just doing research for his next embarrassing scandal.

8. Tupac’s mom files suit against company trying to make a biopic She wants to be played by Angelina Jolie, or the deal’s off.

9. Hugh Hefner is selling the mansion next door to the Playboy Mansion It’s expected to be purchased immediately by an international consortium of 14-year-old boys.

10. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long spotted together again Guess her iPhone warranty just expired, and she needed an inside man.

You May Like