George Clooney tofu: Are you effin' kidding me?

Um, come again? PETA, the animal-rights group best known for throwing blood-red paint on the fur-encased Anna Wintours of the world, would like to make a George Clooney-flavored tofu. The name? CloFu. In a letter addressed to the dashing star (who, yesterday, made my Thursday night TV a lot more exciting), PETA explained that they’d got their hands on a gym towel soaked with Clooney’s sweat, and that thanks to some wacky technology, they could harvest said perspiration into something akin to the meat flavoring that turns up in instant gravy. “Of course your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu,” the letter explained. “But what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don’t try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they wouldn’t know how to cook it.” Now, I am a vegan-ish vegetarian going on 20-plus years of a meat-free diet, but even I can’t deny that this is a) nothing more than PETA’s latest attempt to grab headlines (mission accomplished!); and b) GROSS! I do not want to eat tofu that is infused with Clooney’s, or for that matter, anyone else’s sweat! I am perfectly happy to keep my tofu in the fridge and my Clooney on the screen. If ne’er the twain shall meet, a happy herbivore shall I be. Thank god Clooney seems to agree. “As a mammal, I am offended,” he said. (Leave it to him to be funny when responding to such ridiculousness.)

What’s your take? Are you as grossed out by PETA’s latest publicity stunt as I am? Or does the idea of throwing a CloFu steak on the grill have you all hot and bothered? If the latter, are there other celebrities whose essence you’d like to see infused into tofu or other forms of mock meat? A little Viggo Tempeh for lunch? How about some Jackman Seitan?

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addCredit(“George Clooney: Paul Morigi/WireImage.com”)