'America's Funniest Home Videos': A salute to the three minutes you should never miss
Let me preface this post by saying that my Television Comedy Hall of Fame is stacked with shows like Arrested Development, 30 Rock, The Office (both versions), and The Simpsons. Do we feel reasonably comfortable with each other now? Great. Now let me say something controversial. If you desperately want to ascend to Hilarity Heaven on a Sunday night before another hellish week of work begins, I have your salvation: America’s Funniest Home Videos. Okay, okay — stop the eye-rolling and hurling of objects at me for a sec. You don’t have to watch the entire show (though I recommend it); I’m just asking for three minutes of your time. Yes, you have three minutes. You’re reading a blog entry about America’s Funniest Home Videos.
So here’s what you do: DVR the Tom Bergeron-hosted show, skip ahead to around minute 8 or 9, and watch the 60- to 90-second musical montage. (It’ll be right before the first commercial break and usually set to a rock or pop song like Weezer’s “Troublemaker.”) Then fast-forward to around minute 37 or 38 to check out the other montage. (It’ll be located right before another commercial break and should feature a more old-school selection, like Strauss’ “The Blue Danube.”) By this point, you’ll probably be wondering why your sides are hurting, your voice is hoarse, and tears are streaming down your face. Do not be alarmed: This is perfectly natural and simply means that you’re experiencing Musical Montage Madness, a condition that occurs that when you’re exposed to a fast-moving parade of slapstick clips involving trampoline traumas, amorous animals, dancing disasters, diving-board debacles, geriatric goofs, staircase wipeouts, bird attacks, bike spills, skateboard calamities, vomiting babies, people getting stuck in things, people getting shocked (figuratively and literally), crotch hits, head blows, snow-based mishaps, and poorly executed karate moves. (Sorry for the incomplete list; that’s all I could recall off the top of my head.) And with 19 seasons under its belt, AFV — the original YouTube in many ways — boasts an expansive library of ludicrousness to cull from. (Click here for a montage example. Or here. Or even here.) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some stomach warm-up exercises to finish: I don’t want to pull a muscle tonight LAUGHING MY GUTS OUT. Who’s with me?