TV's funniest lines from Feb. 27 to Mar. 5, 2009

By EW Staff
March 06, 2009 at 05:00 AM EST

”If there’s one thing I hate, it’s losing. If there’s two things I hate, it’s losing and getting cancer.”
—Kenny Powers (Danny McBride), in his motivational audiotape, on Eastbound & Down

”I love seeing people cry when you crush their dreams.”
—Tyson Apostol, before Tribal Council, on Survivor: Tocantins

”I say, To know her is to love her; to love her is to hate her.”
—Ramona Singer, on fellow Housewife Jill Zarin, on The Real Housewives of New York City

”One [American Idol] standout was sprightly 16-year-old Allison Iraheta, who has the maturity of a chain-smoking slot-machine player three times her age.”
—Joel McHale on The Soup

”I want a ring so big that it gives me back problems.”
—Elisa (Salma Hayek), after Jack proposes, on 30 Rock