By Ken Tucker
Updated March 02, 2009 at 07:14 PM EST
Credit: Kelsey McNeal/Fox

Believe me, you do not want to miss tonight’s double-shot of 24, nor the white-hot TV Watch recap my colleague, Dandy Dan Snierson, will be writing about it. But certain things I will tell you to entice you:

1. Jack Bauer tasers a telephone. It’s awesome.

2. Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) and Janis (Janeane Garofalo) have a tense/funny techno-geek face-off.

3. The best line of the night?

“Stress is the fertilizer of creativity.”

I won’t reveal who utters that, but those are words to live by, my friends.

Torture could not induce me to give away anything else. So while waiting for 24 to begin this evening, check out this clip from last week’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann, in which it looks as though Garofalo’s tattoos are about to spread and engulf her neck and face, and she mentions, among other things, her pal Rajskub’s 2007 “date” with Rush Limbaugh, below.

Did I mention Jack Bauer tasers a telephone?