'Clue' will be a movie again. Why?!

Late last night, I learned that director Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean) has been hired by Universal to direct and produce a live-action movie based on the Hasbro board game Clue. I immediately IM’d my editor Nicholas Fonseca — a fellow die-hard devotee of the 1985 live-action movie based on Clue — the link to the news story with just this message: “!!!”

Nicholas’ response: “I know. I can’t. It’s blasphemy.” Here’s but one example that will hopefully illuminate why:

You could scarcely ask for a better script — Professor Plum: “What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?” Mrs. Peacock: “No, just death, isn’t that enough?” — or a more talented cast. But even if you (inexplicably) think this film of dubious quality, or have absolutely no idea what I’m even talking about, I think we can all agree on this: There is absolutely no need for another movie based on the Hasbro board game Clue. (We already have this upcoming movie based on the Hasbro board game Candy Land to wrap our minds around.) Ironically, we kinda predicted this would happen, exactly a year ago this week, requesting that if there must be a second Clue movie, that at least the Christopher Guest acting troupe be the ones to take it on. Alas, it looks now like this is not to be.

So Popwatchers, who would you cast in this utterly unnecessary movie as Prof. Plum, Ms. Scarlett, Mr. Green, Mrs. White, Col. Mustard, and Mrs. Peacock?

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• ‘Clue’: Gore Verbinski to direct new movie adaptation of board game
• ‘Candy Land’…the movie? What’s next, ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Motion Picture’?
• Our dream cast for a remake of the 1985 film ‘Clue’

addCredit(“Everett Collection”)