February 18, 2009 at 12:00 PM EST

“The Uncler”, Funny or Die‘s parody of The Wrestler, is neither funny nor die. It’s basically just depressing. (In my recent economic crisis fantasies, I always pictured Uncle Sam’s beard loosely braided.) In brighter news, Alyssa Milano has truly perfected what could be her ultimate role: Being Marisa Tomei. That be-winter-capped giggle outside the bar? UNCANNY.

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