February 13, 2009 at 05:00 AM EST

· Re—splen—dent (n): See Jennifer Hudson
· The CW picks up a show based on the Vampire Diaries books. It’s like Twilight for TV
· Bradley Cooper: lickable and can act!
· Alum from girl group SWV washes up on Survivor · Lost drinking game: Take a shot every time someone asks, ”When are we?”
· Gossip Girl is in reruns till March 16. Until then, all the cool bitchy queens with big hair will be appearing on RuPaul’s Drag Race

· Thanks to the Grammys for finally teaching us the difference between Estelle and Adele
· ”David After Dentist” (the Christian Bale rant remix) on YouTube
· Carrie Underwear
· Is Madea the new Ernest?
· When did Kate Beckinsale turn into Rita Wilson?

· Dear TV Show Crossover Gods, stop trying to make us watch Private Practice!
· The Kenny Loggins beard infiltrates The L Word
· Nick Cannon named host of America’s Got Talent: Dude, you totally shouldn’t feel bad following in Jerry Springer’s footsteps
· The reunion no one was waiting for: blink-182
· A Saturday Night Live performance proves that TV on the Radio are better on the radio than on TV
· Giving up on the idea that Taylor Swift will ever be able to hit three correct notes in a row
· Inspector Clouseau, how do you say ”totally bombed” in Franche?

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