By Whitney Pastorek
Updated February 13, 2009 at 05:03 AM EST

I’m just gonna come out and say it: I am happy the American Idol judges put shiny-shirt-n-shorts creature Nick/Norman through to the Top 36. Because you know he’s just a sweet, shy kid (pictured, out of character) who dreamed up that persona while he was completely loaded one night, and his buddies were like, “DUDE YOU SHOULD SO TRY AND GET ON AMERICAN IDOL HEH HEH HEH [bong hit],” and so he did. And he pulled it off. And it wasn’t even that hard to pull it off, because the Idol producers love drama, and they love watching us out here in Teevee Land get all indignant about how they’re ruining the integrity of the “singing competition,” when it was never really a “singing competition” with any integrity in the first place. We should all stop kidding ourselves. Nick/Norman has shown us the light, and done so brilliantly. It would be Andy Kaufman-esque were it not for his willingness to drop the shtick and turn into a wadded-up Kleenex for the producers every time they turn the confessional cameras on. So as much as I have a girl-crush on Ann Marie Boskovich, I hope Nick/Norman wins now. I hope VoteForTheWorst gets behind him and he wins the whole damn thing. Because when it comes to manufactured personalities who have no business being on the show, if given my druthers, I would rather support the man who’s coming at it from some weird, unfunny, inexplicable yet creative performance art perspective than the girl *cough*Tatiana*cough* who’s trying so hard to be what she thinks other people want that she’s lost herself entirely.

Note: the above-stated opinion is probably irrelevant, since my mother has a better chance of making the Top 12 than either of these people…right? What do you think, PopWatchers?