January 23, 2009 at 05:00 AM EST

Scott Brown’s hit list

1. Leaked album art shows Madonna wrapped in bandages Is this a Kabbalah thing? A newly divorced thing? Or a Boris Karloff thing?

2. Alex Trebek to host reality TV show Canada’s Next Great Prime Minister It’s like Kid Nation, with French accents and better health care.

3. Boy George reportedly signs autographs in prison ”Dear Mad Dog: Canary Jim says you really do want to hurt me! Please don’t. Love, BG.”

4. 50 Cent says the first movie he produces will star him and Nic Cage Is that a business plan or a threat?

5. Katy Perry awarded the wrong French music prize When they tried to take it away, Perry protested, claiming she’d already Frenched the prize — and she’d liked it.

6. Kate Winslet says Leo ”feels more like my husband than my real husband” Incidentally, this symptom is reported by women everywhere, often while watching a Leo movie as their husbands sleep under a pile of Löwenbräu cans and Frito dust.

7. Giant piano from Big given to Philly’s Please Touch Museum It will be displayed alongside Hanks’ Da Vinci Code hair — the only thing in the museum marked ”Please DON’T touch.”

8. ”Rob T Pattz” appears to be a fake Facebook profile for Twilight‘s Robert Pattinson Oh, no. Whoever he is, I hope he hasn’t tagged those ”boudoir” shots I sent him yet.

9. Pete Seeger performs at pre-inaugural gala Bob Seger, on the other hand, watched in his pj’s at home while singing ”Oh, like Barack!”

10. Liam Neeson defends Central Park’s horse-drawn carriages, which Alec Baldwin calls cruel We knew it would come, just not so soon: Obama’s first crisis.

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