January 16, 2009 at 05:00 AM EST

HITS
· Sorry, Mozart, we’re going with Kelly Clarkson‘s ”My Life Would Suck Without You” as the best song in the history of the universe
· With a Golden Globe award and gigs at the inauguration and Super Bowl, it’s the Year of the Boss. Again!
· Thanks, SNL. Now the Doogie Howser theme song will be in our heads for another 20 years… No. Seriously. Thanks!

NEAR MISSES
· The prospect of a Janis-and-Chloe showdown on 24
· Ads for He’s Just Not That Into You mention MySpace, revealing to the world that the movie has been on the shelf since the Mesozoic era

MISSES
· Dear Feminism: We apologize. Love, the cast of Bride Wars
· Who died and made Toby Young a Top Chef judge? Please resurrect that person. A corpse would be preferable.

NOT EVEN CLOSE
· Angelina, you’re supposed to try to look happy when someone else wins in your category.
· Fox takes show’s title literally: inexplicably renews ‘Til Death

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