By Michael Slezak
Updated January 07, 2009 at 09:52 PM EST

For the last two weeks, I’ve been attempting to blog about Beyonce’s twin set of new videos, but much to my chagrin, the embeddable versions keep getting pulled from the Internets. (The Crafty Ms. Knowles must want us all to pay for viewing privilege over at iTunes; apparently, when she sings “If you ain’t gettin’ money, then you ain’t got nothin’ for me,” she means it.)But today (finally!), I’ve found said videos living legally (I think?) at YahooMusic. So, YAHOO! Let’s discuss which is better: My favorite song from I Am…Sasha Fierce, or the best song from I Am…Sasha Fierce. And no, those are not one and the same.

First, my favorite, “Diva,” a track that’s already No. 64 on the Top 100 Most Played list on my iTunes, because in all honestly, I have a mental illness that makes me hit the repeat button on this track, then annoy friends and loved ones by randomly (and sometimes inappropriately) asking (in my best Beyonce drawl): “Where yo BOSS at?” The video has the production values of the clearance bin at Family Dollar, and yet somehow it works. Ever since I first heard the hypnotic chorus — “Diva is a female version of a hustler. Of a hustler. Of a, of a hustler.” — I fully expected to see a trunk full of mannequins, Cylon-y fringed sunglasses, and angry-lady dancing on display in the accompanying video. (Good thing B provides the dictionary definition of “Diva,” too, since her own take on the word is beautiful nonsense.) Where yo BOSS at, people?

Then, there’s “Halo,” an absolutely glorious and perfectly produced track that should be as big a hit as “Irreplaceable” and “Crazy in Love.” Still, it’s a little odd to me that the highest-quality track from …Sasha Fierce gets a video that’s lit so aggressively, I can barely make out whether B’s paying homage to Flashdance or trying to give me a seizure. Still, I’m not mad at Solange’s sister. Once that chorus kicks in for the final time, with its sweeping strings and percussion and B’s glorious vocal, my innards turn to processed maple syrup, and I lose the ability to constructively criticize. Does this woman ever make a musical misstep? (I smell pancakes!)

Anyhow, check out the videos for “Diva” and “Halo” for yourself, then vote in our handy poll about which you like best!