By Marc Vera
Updated January 06, 2009 at 12:00 PM EST

It finally happened. The teaser moment that hooked me on the dreck that is Momma’s Boys. You know what I’m talking about: Mrs. B’s freak-out in the helicopter (embedded below). Sure, it got me screaming at Mrs. B, but by the end of the episode I ceased to care about next week’s trip to the Virgin Islands.

I was so nonplussed, in fact, that I had to find some sort of musical adrenaline kick to begin writing this post. I found it in “Untouched” by The Veronicas. Sure, the song’s a little old, but it fits nicely with this show. I mean, it could be a theme song for the moms about their sons. (Ewwwww!) More likely, it’s how some of the girls feel about the boys. So it’s now on endless repeat, with good reason.

Anyhow, Michael got lots of touching this episode, but not as much as he probably wanted, seeing how his make-out session with a holiday-clad Meghan felt more than a little staged. Hot? Sure. Realistic? Not really. Why? Didn’t it seem like the producers put markers on the floor for the couple to stand on while smooching? Beh.

Whatever. The whole holiday celebration was lame. I’m still trying to figure out why it aired AFTER the holidays and how Lorraine has a cousin so young.

Erica, our resident Penthouse Pet, got to hang out with Michael, andthat seemed to go well, but the main event was Misty and JoJo’s date.Turns out that what we saw wasn’t a date but Mrs. B’s crazy antics. Shewas so focused on not having Misty’s lips touch her son’s that sheforced the producers to take her to see the couple (via helicopter!). What I don’t understand — aside from Mrs. B’s overt racism — was what exactly she was expecting from a dating show that surrounded her son with so many beautiful women? The woman has a lot to learn — and not just about how to be open-minded. Then again, Misty could learn something, too — like how not to dress like a complete trollop, for starters. Did you see the leopard-print dress she wore onelimination night? I rest my case.

Naturally, Mrs. B had to go screw things up by talking with Maisha and Camilla. Why you gotta go and cry like that on camera, Mrs. B?! DAMN YOU for making ME cry.

I don’t know about you, but the Virgin Islands ticket ceremony made me uncomfortable. Esther didn’t play nice by making scrunchy faces at Camilla when Rob gave her a ticket. You know what Esther, you basically told her, and the world, that because she isn’t Jewish, she isn’t good enough for your son. Please join Mrs. B in the back room and throw yourselves a pity party.

So who is going to the Islands? Rob chose Camilla, Amanda (who turned him down because she wants to be with Michael), and Nikki (who?!), while Esther chose Lauren. Michael chose Erica and Meghan, while Lorraine ended up selecting Amanda (lucky her). Finally, JoJo chose Julie (who?!) and Mindy; Mrs. B, as expected, declined to hand out her ticket since no girl in the house is good enough for her son.

What did you think of this episode? And what do you make of Mrs. B’s and Esther’s antics? Will there be another huge blow-up next week? And are you excited to see who the heck Nikki and Julie are?