”Archaeologists in Europe claim they’ve found a 2,000-year-old shopping mall. When he heard this, Larry King said, ‘Did you find a wallet?”’
—Conan O’Brien on Late Night
”[It’s] so cold today that President Bush was ducking ski boots.”
—David Letterman on Late Show
”I’m not going to lie; I feel like a huge chin has been lifted off of my shoulders. ”
—Jimmy Kimmel, on Jay Leno staying at NBC and not moving to ABC, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
For weekly video recaps of all the best Sound Bites, go to ew.com/soundbites/