By Marc Vera
Updated August 04, 2020 at 03:02 PM EDT

My heart broke last week when little Megan Albetus gave up her spot on Momma’s Boys. But I could understand where she was coming from. It’s not every day that someone so selfless shows up on a reality dating show and realizes “Hey, this isn’t really for me.” So, with my favorite contestant gone, I had to find some way to throw myself into this week’s episode. It wasn’t so hard when I saw a huge crate being delivered to the house, complete with the secret history of all the girls. Who wouldn’t want to break into that chest and devour all that juicy info?

We knew Stacy and Erica did nude modeling, but did any of the other girls? The answer: a not-so-shocking “yes.” When Meghan came out, I thought “Yeah, I can see that,” but I was surprised to learn about Brittany’s past. Just shows you never really know about a person. Look at how well Erica is hiding her career.

The cooking challenge, to keep the files under lock and key, was slightly amusing. Broken egg on the floor? Check. Peeling an apple with a sharp knife? Check. Dropping apple on the floor and proceeding to put it in the mixing bowl? Check. Mrs. B. with hurt feelings? Check. Clearly, these women don’t cook. Erica, Meghan, Amanda (who?), and Julie (who?) all got to keep their files shut.

Botox, boob jobs, and hair extensions, after the jump.

The real fun began after the cooking, when the momseach chose one file to read. Lorraine chose Michelle K’s and got aneyeful. Turns out Michelle, who is only 25, has already had a nose job, two boob jobs, botox, and hair extensions. She told Lorraine it was for”maintenance,” which led to Lorraine’s question: “What are you going todo when you are my age?” Nice one, Lorraine! And really, who racks upover $130,000 in debt by the age of 25? How is she paying for that?

Esther chose to look at Lauren’s file to reassure herself that Laurenwas perfect. Turns out that she is. Khalood looked at Brittany’s fileand found out she posed for Playboy. That pretty much sealed her fate.

When elimination time came, it was pretty obvious what was going tohappen — sort of. Out of the house right away: Stacy (former Playboymodel), Carina (the one who got to stay when Megan gave up her space),Jessica C. (who?), Cara (pictured, who threw a fit because she thought the show was onlyabout getting a date and why didn’t she get a date?!), and Brittany. AllI can say is, good thing there was a “handler” for the show on hand to tellCara to stop hitting the camera. Did I mention she never got a date?Because, well, she didn’t get a date. So it wasn’t fair. She went onthe show for a date, and it never happened. Perhaps she should sue?Let’s watch her reaction.

And so it goes. Michael keeps Michelle and shoves his tongue down herthroat for all to see. Maisha busts out crying because Brittany getssent home, and I’m left enamored with Mindy for not kissing JoJo ontheir date. Oh, and I still miss Megan Albetus.

What did you think of the episode? Are you still asking yourself who some of these girls are? Are you as psyched for Mrs. B’sfreak out on the helicopter next week as I am? Did you watch this episode with your dad, like I did? (He loved it, btw.)

addCredit(“Tyler Golden /NBC”)